Your NOW....

Life is made out of present moments….that’s something that is already so often said that it started to lose it’s real meaning.

Take for instance the present moment right Now. Take a moment and reflect:

Is my now satisfying ? Am I happy in this particular moment? Am I fulfilled? Can I make my Now better in any way?...more satisfying, more fulfilling?.....If yes,….then Now is the moment to do it

Cause I believe the only thing we ever had and the only thing we will ever have is the present moment and it comes with a choice: you can linger in the past memories, remembering, blaming, missing , or regretting , or…you can chose to enhance and optimize your present moments …..making them happy moments. It’s really a conscious choice and circumstances and people around have absolutely nothing to do with whatever you choose.

Is it a meaningless coincidence that the word “present” also means “gift”?...I chose to believe not J

So what will you do with your gift?

Rate your Now here : http://www.facebook.com/DonnaCafe

Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

What do I really want for my life?

…might seem like an easy question…but for many of us finding it’s answer can be a challenge.

We are the product of our society….a society based on values like social status, material security, competition, separation from others. Therefore, as products of this society we have been programmed to perform in accordance with the above mentioned values….we go to good schools for social status and to be prepared to get a job which will make us financial secure, we compete in these jobs with other people, products of the same system, living in a continuous “battle for resources”. We have been “programmed” to fight for the “limited resources” available in a world of scarcity…it is so sad

Do we like what we do? …Who cares?....we are doing the right thing …..the right thing we have been programmed to do….until ….a feeling of emptiness and loss of meaning makes place in our hearts….for the lucky ones, this is a moment of awakening . The moment when the quest for the answer to the question “what do I want? What do I like to do?” becomes fuel of existence.

Do you have the courage to let go of the old mechanized way of living? …It’s not an easy task….it involves giving up the illusion of “financial security”, the illusion of “prestige and social status”…you risk being judged and regarded as incompetent …a fool who gave up “the right way” for a “dream”…..but if you do manage to find your answer …you are in for the journey of your life , where prestige will be replaced by passion and love, scarcity by abundance and competition by cooperation ….

After living decades conforming with the system that created us, suddenly trying to figure out what is it that we would actually enjoy doing , what is our calling in life , becomes a challenge….where do we start?...where do we look for answers?.......

By Ralu H .

www.donnacafe.com

Re-discover the "fun" part ...

Why is it such a great challenge sometimes to stay focused on what is really important to you in life?...may it be a project, a hobby or simply a routine you choose as life enhancing.

Despite the fierce determination that comes at the beginning and the conviction to “nail it this time”…it seems to slowly become another “task” and we forget what put us on this road in the first place…

I’ve been there so many times and I still pass through these periods, when the most important goal for me is simply put on hold without any apparent reason. There is time, there are resources…but there is no action. As crazy as it may sound the over-used term of “procrastination” does not manage to explain it.

After reflecting on this topic for a while now, I came to realize that many things start as fun and end up as “tasks”. Even a project consciously chosen as very important to us gets to be transformed into some kind of “obligation to ourselves”…and that I think is the breaking point...cause once an “obligation” (even if only to ourselves) it stops being enjoyable …we forget it was actually our chosen path and it becomes an imposed life style…a must do

What usually follows is a mixture of procrastination and terrible guilt for failing to live up to our self-imposed standards of efficiency…and that is a dead point… here is where we completely stuck.

I don’t have yet a “solution” for how to avoid reaching to this stage of “stuck” but I know that by simply noticing the smooth transition from “fun” to “obligation” we solved half of the problem.

Getting back the fun and excitement that got us started the project in the first place and completely giving up on self-imposed levels of efficiency followed by guilt for not performing , is the only way we can passionately follow our dreams while enjoying every moment of the journey…

…but that, of course, is my recipe. What’s yours? :)

Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

Acceptance is the first step...

Acceptance is the first step...

There is a fresh spring breeze of freedom that comes with self-acceptance and along with it, a feeling of immense gratitude. We are struggling too much to seek perfection when, I believe,is in the imperfection itself that rests our power.

We are all so imperfectly the same that the simple acknowledgement of this imperfection makes us complete, and ultimately, perfect.

How to accept something in you that you want changed? … Something you desperately fight to overcome?...well here’s another paradox that can set us free : along with real, deep acceptance of who we are comes our power to become better and better, without even trying to. It’s like we were programmed for growth by only embracing our uniqueness. And as any program, it has viruses who block it or even cause damage to our bodies , and those viruses are self-criticism guilt and alike feelings of self-destruction.

Your uniqueness needs acceptance to shine in its perfection...

Ralu H

www.donnacafe.com

A "clothes pressing" revelation

One of the home tasks that I never liked doing is clothes pressing. Only the thought of ironing a shirt would make me depressed. Therefore I was one of the most devoted customers for the laundry shop from our neighborhood …

One day I forgot to send the shirts for pressing and my husband had an early meeting …and no shirts; I did let him try doing it himself (he knows pressing is not my favorite morning thing) but I couldn’t sit back and let him walk out the door with three parallel stripes on each sleeve…So as a loving wife that I am I took charge and started pressing that shirt.

The most strange thing happened while doing this task…ironing his shirt I realized I am doing something for my love and acknowledging that gave me a completely new perspective towards this activity, once seen as a punishment …doing something for the one you love cannot be a punishment..why did I saw it like one?...maybe because I forgot to look beyond the shirt, beyond the material …like we all do so many times in our lives. Sometimes is enough to see the benefits coming from making a specific thing and usually when the benefits are affecting other people, it is amazing how the whole perception changes.

Immediately I remembered my mom ironing our clothes; it is one of the most beautiful memories I have from my childhood; she used to do it with so much patience and love that I used to love to sit next to her and watch her (or iron my own clothes with the plastic iron); she was emanating such a positive energy in the house and I would feel so safe and happy seeing my mom taking care of us. I want my children to feel that.

So now, I enjoy ironing from time to time (I will certainly share this new found pleasure with the laundry guy from time to time…no need to be selfish) and while I do, I think of my husband, my mom and all the people who showed me love through their actions during my life; an “unpleasant” activity became an enjoyable one, because of Love.

Ralu H

www.donnacafe.com

To change or to accept ?

One of the biggest frustrations for me was not being able to "help" the loved ones become “better”. What do I mean by better?....loving themselves more, taking control of their lives instead of always being the victims of their circumstances, being more positive about the future and about their lives , less judgmental….so I passed a lot of time either giving them “advices”, or being very sad in my heart every time I would speak with them and I would see them so immersed in what they perceived “a hard life”. Why wouldn’t they listen to me?....I was being so convincing !

I brought this subject in my coaching sessions trying to explain my sadness and my impotence in “changing their lives”….

While exploring the whole situation through the perspective of a person who “knows “ the recipe of a happy life I realized how self centered I was. Trying to convince other people that the way they live is “wrong” is simply a need of my Ego who is “always right” and it’s need of “influencing” others to live according to my beliefs.

Each and every one of us is completely responsible and “free” to live the life they want and even if my intentions to change them was coming from a loving place, it is still wrong….and since the Universe is so perfectly created to support the complete “free will” of individuals to create their life (completely create and design the every aspect of their lives)….it wouldn’t allow the interference of people like me, to take their power away…cause trying to change anybody means taking their power away….

And to add up to the above, the following question popped up in my head: “Are you doing perfectly all the things you want to see in others?”….what a shock ….I myself was not living at the standards I was promoting ….So was it also that I was seeing in others the reflection of my own struggles?...most probably.

What a realization …..what a new perspective on seeing others ….naturally resourceful and free to live the lives they choose to. All I need to do is loving them, thus accepting them just the way they are…PERFECT

Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

What would you do if you would have the certainty of success?

Imagine for a moment that you would be given the certainty of success for any thing you want to do. What would that be?....maybe starting writing the book you always dreamed of writing , or creating that project you always had in mind…or maybe you would go auditioning for movies even if you have no acting preparation…..whatever it is you have in mind , imagine the possibility of doing it, knowing there is no way you could fail….would you go for it ?....of course you would cause what could stand in your way if even the fear of failure would be vanished?...

When you want to do something in your life, anything at all, you can never have the certainty of either failure or success. You cannot know what the outcome would be before you even started.

Now let’s explore, in a very logical way, the two possibilities:

First option: You give in to the fear of failure and decide to believe that whatever is that you want to accomplish would fail….would you still go for it? Most probably not…who would willingly transform his dream into a disaster?

Second option: You chose to believe your project will be successful and remove from your mind any possibility of failure ….would you go for it? Most probably yes..

So from the two possibilities which one would most probably take you to your desired end result? …obviously the second one.

I believe that anyone having a dream in life should go for it , work hard and keep at all times a positive attitude …not only the trip would be so enjoyable since you are doing something you love ….but even the destination might be a dream come true J, and if not (to be fair in considering the first option too) at least you would never have to live with the regret of ignoring your calling.

Ralu H

www.donnacafe.com