A "clothes pressing" revelation

One of the home tasks that I never liked doing is clothes pressing. Only the thought of ironing a shirt would make me depressed. Therefore I was one of the most devoted customers for the laundry shop from our neighborhood …

One day I forgot to send the shirts for pressing and my husband had an early meeting …and no shirts; I did let him try doing it himself (he knows pressing is not my favorite morning thing) but I couldn’t sit back and let him walk out the door with three parallel stripes on each sleeve…So as a loving wife that I am I took charge and started pressing that shirt.

The most strange thing happened while doing this task…ironing his shirt I realized I am doing something for my love and acknowledging that gave me a completely new perspective towards this activity, once seen as a punishment …doing something for the one you love cannot be a punishment..why did I saw it like one?...maybe because I forgot to look beyond the shirt, beyond the material …like we all do so many times in our lives. Sometimes is enough to see the benefits coming from making a specific thing and usually when the benefits are affecting other people, it is amazing how the whole perception changes.

Immediately I remembered my mom ironing our clothes; it is one of the most beautiful memories I have from my childhood; she used to do it with so much patience and love that I used to love to sit next to her and watch her (or iron my own clothes with the plastic iron); she was emanating such a positive energy in the house and I would feel so safe and happy seeing my mom taking care of us. I want my children to feel that.

So now, I enjoy ironing from time to time (I will certainly share this new found pleasure with the laundry guy from time to time…no need to be selfish) and while I do, I think of my husband, my mom and all the people who showed me love through their actions during my life; an “unpleasant” activity became an enjoyable one, because of Love.

Ralu H

www.donnacafe.com

To change or to accept ?

One of the biggest frustrations for me was not being able to "help" the loved ones become “better”. What do I mean by better?....loving themselves more, taking control of their lives instead of always being the victims of their circumstances, being more positive about the future and about their lives , less judgmental….so I passed a lot of time either giving them “advices”, or being very sad in my heart every time I would speak with them and I would see them so immersed in what they perceived “a hard life”. Why wouldn’t they listen to me?....I was being so convincing !

I brought this subject in my coaching sessions trying to explain my sadness and my impotence in “changing their lives”….

While exploring the whole situation through the perspective of a person who “knows “ the recipe of a happy life I realized how self centered I was. Trying to convince other people that the way they live is “wrong” is simply a need of my Ego who is “always right” and it’s need of “influencing” others to live according to my beliefs.

Each and every one of us is completely responsible and “free” to live the life they want and even if my intentions to change them was coming from a loving place, it is still wrong….and since the Universe is so perfectly created to support the complete “free will” of individuals to create their life (completely create and design the every aspect of their lives)….it wouldn’t allow the interference of people like me, to take their power away…cause trying to change anybody means taking their power away….

And to add up to the above, the following question popped up in my head: “Are you doing perfectly all the things you want to see in others?”….what a shock ….I myself was not living at the standards I was promoting ….So was it also that I was seeing in others the reflection of my own struggles?...most probably.

What a realization …..what a new perspective on seeing others ….naturally resourceful and free to live the lives they choose to. All I need to do is loving them, thus accepting them just the way they are…PERFECT

Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

What would you do if you would have the certainty of success?

Imagine for a moment that you would be given the certainty of success for any thing you want to do. What would that be?....maybe starting writing the book you always dreamed of writing , or creating that project you always had in mind…or maybe you would go auditioning for movies even if you have no acting preparation…..whatever it is you have in mind , imagine the possibility of doing it, knowing there is no way you could fail….would you go for it ?....of course you would cause what could stand in your way if even the fear of failure would be vanished?...

When you want to do something in your life, anything at all, you can never have the certainty of either failure or success. You cannot know what the outcome would be before you even started.

Now let’s explore, in a very logical way, the two possibilities:

First option: You give in to the fear of failure and decide to believe that whatever is that you want to accomplish would fail….would you still go for it? Most probably not…who would willingly transform his dream into a disaster?

Second option: You chose to believe your project will be successful and remove from your mind any possibility of failure ….would you go for it? Most probably yes..

So from the two possibilities which one would most probably take you to your desired end result? …obviously the second one.

I believe that anyone having a dream in life should go for it , work hard and keep at all times a positive attitude …not only the trip would be so enjoyable since you are doing something you love ….but even the destination might be a dream come true J, and if not (to be fair in considering the first option too) at least you would never have to live with the regret of ignoring your calling.

Ralu H

www.donnacafe.com

Allow It...

To which extent is the growth of a seed into a plant determined by you? To which extent is the blooming of trees in springtime controlled by you? The presence of this Universal Force, Energy, Source or God (name it as you may wish) cannot be denied or minimized to less than it actually is. It makes the Earth spin, and the rain fall, it transforms caterpillars into beautiful butterflies and night into day ; it does nothing, but nothing remains undone.

If we are able to accept that this All Creative force or energy does exist , why wouldn’t we include ourselves into it? If everything there is was created by it, so are we, and if everything there is transforms and survives out of it, than the logic would say that so should we. What is the difference between a seed transforming into a plant and an intention into reality?

I think the answer is “allowance”…allow things to happen by stop worrying, reducing the fear of failure and grow on the certainty that once the seed of your intention is planted and nurtured with love and faith, it is God’s job to handle the details of its development while you would stay focused on what you wish to accomplish. By being patient and trustful, we remain in a state of peace which is the only state of “allowance” for the divine intervention. Being impatient, worrying that something will come up to mess our plans, or losing faith when encountering the first obstacle , keeps us in a state of hostility and turmoil which couldn’t possibly be an environment where one would find God.

Few days back I found myself worried and full of doubts related to my project; it just seemed it doesn’t move towards the right direction and I couldn’t help feeling helpless with a sense of despair making nest in my mind. Days were passing by and I would be feeding on my negative assumptions while things with my project would be in an idle mode.

I brought up the subject with my coach and by starting exploring my situation I got to understand that the stage of my project was actually the stage I was in. How would it possibly progress while I was stuck? Why would it be a success when my belief was failure?

Realizing this was the first step needed for my detachment of the end result while allowing my project develop as a seed into a plant; just like the patience of allowing the transformation would be rewarded with the fruits of the plant, I know that by having the patience and the peace that comes with it, we would much faster enjoy the success of any project we might have.

Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

How often do you listen?

When was the last time you really listened to somebody? And by listen , I don’t mean hearing the other person’s words or looking into her/his eyes and nodding when the inflexions of the voice would suggest it’s time for you to prove your participation in a discussion that didn’t really triggered your interest.

Listening to a person is being with a person, focusing all your attention on the words, gestures, voice inflections, feeling her/his emotions while developing an interest in knowing the other person.

Listening to people around us it’s not only a way to connect with them but it’s also a very powerful tool for enhancing relationships with anyone around us..from work colleagues to family in law and neighbors. Listening without holding any trace of judgment but instead keeping a genuine curiosity about the other person’s feelings and beliefs, it’s a great way of building healthy relationships. Both you and the other person will feel the benefits of your connection and a feeling of closeness will empower your relationship.

Imagine your colleague complaining about the noise in the office; your judgmental self centered perception would tell you that your colleague is trying to accuse you and a conflict can easily erupt. Imagine now that you would practice listening and from a place of curiosity you would simply ask your colleague what is it that disturbs him? or How does he feel?...than your colleague might tell you that he is suffering from a terrible head ache and you would connect with him trying to offer him an aspirin…or maybe he would tell you the marriage troubles that he is going through are affecting his work…than you would come from a place of compassion and instead of starting a fight, you might actually strengthen your relationship.

So don’t give in to your judgmental instinct, and carefully listen to the other person…who knows?...you might be given the opportunity to make somebody’s day better !..to say the least.

by Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

User manual for relationships?

We are all familiar with the wide variety of studies, books, articles who are trying to teach us the technicalities of relationships, how each word we say or gesture we make is being interpreted by the other person. “Don’t be the first one to call after the first date”..or” don’t say yes from the first time”…and many as such , are advices coming from psychologists, body language specialists and other such confident sources.

We follow the “tricks”, get the “guy”…and then we find ourselves in a relationship with a complete stranger who based his own behavior on such ridiculous “instructions manual for love”…I mean tricks can last only for so long, and what happens after the spell dissolves and we remain ourselves? What manual will provide us the tricks to deal with the genuine person and his particularities, not a typology?

When did we stop being ourselves? and why do we think that playing an act, reacting “by the book” instead of following our instincts and being honest, would help us “get him”?

How can a relationship that we hope would transform in love, can be based on anything else than genuine communication?

The irony is that by following all these advices we are supposed to avoid being ourselves but in the same time “know” the person we are dealing with; we offer ‘tricks” and we expect authenticity.

I believe that, just like in all the areas of life, we humans managed to complicate things; the genuine reality is that if you hope to find a partner for life the only rule that must be followed is to be yourself. You don’t need a manual or a bunch of experts telling you how to react to specific things or what to say in specific situations, how to interpret a yes or a no; you want to be yourself and to receive the same honesty and transparency you are offering.

What is the objective after all: To “get the guy” or to “get the right guy”?

by Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

Do you believe in self-healing?

There is more and more evidence supporting the idea that there is a very close relationship between a person’s way of thinking and his/her health. Furthermore, the idea of self healing is not anymore science fiction, as more and more evidences appear supporting the power of human mind in the process of healing.

One of my favorite authors and metaphysical lecturer, Louise L. Hay, dedicated her life to teach people how to use their full potential and creative powers for self-healing. In her book “Heal your body- The mental causes for physical illness and the Metaphysical way to overcome them” she compiled a list of diseases along with their mental equivalents (the thinking pattern that created the disease).

For example, we find that Cancer has as probable cause “ Longstanding resentment. Grief eating away the self. Resentments” or Migraine can be identified with “ Dislike of being driven. Resisting the flow of life”.

From the same book we are also provided with the way to reverse the physical condition: by reversing the mental pattern that created it. Afirmations like “I relax into the flow of life and let life provide all that I need easily and comfortably” said regularly and with conviction are said to be very useful in the process of healing migraines.

Thousands of people experienced miraculous healing from untreatable conditions with strong faith and willpower.

Do you believe in healing using the creative power of mind? Do you have any stories from your personal experience that would come to support the theories of Louise Hay?

Donna

How it all started...

It all started with my first session of life coaching...

First time I heard anything about life coaching was actually from a good friend of mine who was studying to become a life coach.

I am a person open towards any type of self-development practice so I approached life coaching with an open mind and even a bit of interest, plus my friend who studied life coaching was very happy doing so and I wanted to see what is it.

I tried it out of curiosity, there was nothing I struggled with at that time . Honestly, I did not know what am I suppose to talk to a life coach about.

When my friend offered me the possibility to be her client I went to my first session with an awkward feeling ; yes, I think this life coaching thing might work for some people but I don’t have any big issues in my life, so I felt it might be a waste of time. I did not expect any miracle. ....let’s just say my expectations couldn’t be more wrong , as after my first life coaching session a miracle did happened.

From a person perceiving herself as mediocre, insecure about her career life and believing in limitations rather than achievements I emerged after just one hour, a self confident woman determined to make her dreams become reality. I realize my words might seem a bit fictional but they describe only part of the change that life coaching brought in my life.

You see, I was not a depressed person, living some kind of drama, by contrary, I was happily married living a financial secure everyday life. I managed somehow to live with my fears and insecurities as if they were part of me and I thought it’s something you learn how to peacefully live with, I simply got used to my limitations. The miracle happened when these insecurities were brought to life and by analyzing them closely, they suddenly seemed weak, and vulnerable to my own determination to make them disappear; ….and all this happened through a skillful set of questions asked by my coach in a way that made no sense at the beginning but in the end revealed to me a truth that I live by, ever since.

When I started life coaching I was unemployed and now I am running my own business doing what I love to do ;

And the best thing is that you are not being offered the tool that you need to use, but instead, my life coach is helping me find the right tool within myself….and strange enough it’s always there

This experience was the starting point in the development of the project "Donna Cafe" a project meant to bring positive changes in women lives and to help them live happily and purposefully........to be continued