User manual for relationships?

We are all familiar with the wide variety of studies, books, articles who are trying to teach us the technicalities of relationships, how each word we say or gesture we make is being interpreted by the other person. “Don’t be the first one to call after the first date”..or” don’t say yes from the first time”…and many as such , are advices coming from psychologists, body language specialists and other such confident sources.

We follow the “tricks”, get the “guy”…and then we find ourselves in a relationship with a complete stranger who based his own behavior on such ridiculous “instructions manual for love”…I mean tricks can last only for so long, and what happens after the spell dissolves and we remain ourselves? What manual will provide us the tricks to deal with the genuine person and his particularities, not a typology?

When did we stop being ourselves? and why do we think that playing an act, reacting “by the book” instead of following our instincts and being honest, would help us “get him”?

How can a relationship that we hope would transform in love, can be based on anything else than genuine communication?

The irony is that by following all these advices we are supposed to avoid being ourselves but in the same time “know” the person we are dealing with; we offer ‘tricks” and we expect authenticity.

I believe that, just like in all the areas of life, we humans managed to complicate things; the genuine reality is that if you hope to find a partner for life the only rule that must be followed is to be yourself. You don’t need a manual or a bunch of experts telling you how to react to specific things or what to say in specific situations, how to interpret a yes or a no; you want to be yourself and to receive the same honesty and transparency you are offering.

What is the objective after all: To “get the guy” or to “get the right guy”?

by Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com