How often do you listen?

When was the last time you really listened to somebody? And by listen , I don’t mean hearing the other person’s words or looking into her/his eyes and nodding when the inflexions of the voice would suggest it’s time for you to prove your participation in a discussion that didn’t really triggered your interest.

Listening to a person is being with a person, focusing all your attention on the words, gestures, voice inflections, feeling her/his emotions while developing an interest in knowing the other person.

Listening to people around us it’s not only a way to connect with them but it’s also a very powerful tool for enhancing relationships with anyone around us..from work colleagues to family in law and neighbors. Listening without holding any trace of judgment but instead keeping a genuine curiosity about the other person’s feelings and beliefs, it’s a great way of building healthy relationships. Both you and the other person will feel the benefits of your connection and a feeling of closeness will empower your relationship.

Imagine your colleague complaining about the noise in the office; your judgmental self centered perception would tell you that your colleague is trying to accuse you and a conflict can easily erupt. Imagine now that you would practice listening and from a place of curiosity you would simply ask your colleague what is it that disturbs him? or How does he feel?...than your colleague might tell you that he is suffering from a terrible head ache and you would connect with him trying to offer him an aspirin…or maybe he would tell you the marriage troubles that he is going through are affecting his work…than you would come from a place of compassion and instead of starting a fight, you might actually strengthen your relationship.

So don’t give in to your judgmental instinct, and carefully listen to the other person…who knows?...you might be given the opportunity to make somebody’s day better !..to say the least.

by Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

User manual for relationships?

We are all familiar with the wide variety of studies, books, articles who are trying to teach us the technicalities of relationships, how each word we say or gesture we make is being interpreted by the other person. “Don’t be the first one to call after the first date”..or” don’t say yes from the first time”…and many as such , are advices coming from psychologists, body language specialists and other such confident sources.

We follow the “tricks”, get the “guy”…and then we find ourselves in a relationship with a complete stranger who based his own behavior on such ridiculous “instructions manual for love”…I mean tricks can last only for so long, and what happens after the spell dissolves and we remain ourselves? What manual will provide us the tricks to deal with the genuine person and his particularities, not a typology?

When did we stop being ourselves? and why do we think that playing an act, reacting “by the book” instead of following our instincts and being honest, would help us “get him”?

How can a relationship that we hope would transform in love, can be based on anything else than genuine communication?

The irony is that by following all these advices we are supposed to avoid being ourselves but in the same time “know” the person we are dealing with; we offer ‘tricks” and we expect authenticity.

I believe that, just like in all the areas of life, we humans managed to complicate things; the genuine reality is that if you hope to find a partner for life the only rule that must be followed is to be yourself. You don’t need a manual or a bunch of experts telling you how to react to specific things or what to say in specific situations, how to interpret a yes or a no; you want to be yourself and to receive the same honesty and transparency you are offering.

What is the objective after all: To “get the guy” or to “get the right guy”?

by Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

Do you believe in self-healing?

There is more and more evidence supporting the idea that there is a very close relationship between a person’s way of thinking and his/her health. Furthermore, the idea of self healing is not anymore science fiction, as more and more evidences appear supporting the power of human mind in the process of healing.

One of my favorite authors and metaphysical lecturer, Louise L. Hay, dedicated her life to teach people how to use their full potential and creative powers for self-healing. In her book “Heal your body- The mental causes for physical illness and the Metaphysical way to overcome them” she compiled a list of diseases along with their mental equivalents (the thinking pattern that created the disease).

For example, we find that Cancer has as probable cause “ Longstanding resentment. Grief eating away the self. Resentments” or Migraine can be identified with “ Dislike of being driven. Resisting the flow of life”.

From the same book we are also provided with the way to reverse the physical condition: by reversing the mental pattern that created it. Afirmations like “I relax into the flow of life and let life provide all that I need easily and comfortably” said regularly and with conviction are said to be very useful in the process of healing migraines.

Thousands of people experienced miraculous healing from untreatable conditions with strong faith and willpower.

Do you believe in healing using the creative power of mind? Do you have any stories from your personal experience that would come to support the theories of Louise Hay?

Donna