To change or to accept ?

One of the biggest frustrations for me was not being able to "help" the loved ones become “better”. What do I mean by better?....loving themselves more, taking control of their lives instead of always being the victims of their circumstances, being more positive about the future and about their lives , less judgmental….so I passed a lot of time either giving them “advices”, or being very sad in my heart every time I would speak with them and I would see them so immersed in what they perceived “a hard life”. Why wouldn’t they listen to me?....I was being so convincing !

I brought this subject in my coaching sessions trying to explain my sadness and my impotence in “changing their lives”….

While exploring the whole situation through the perspective of a person who “knows “ the recipe of a happy life I realized how self centered I was. Trying to convince other people that the way they live is “wrong” is simply a need of my Ego who is “always right” and it’s need of “influencing” others to live according to my beliefs.

Each and every one of us is completely responsible and “free” to live the life they want and even if my intentions to change them was coming from a loving place, it is still wrong….and since the Universe is so perfectly created to support the complete “free will” of individuals to create their life (completely create and design the every aspect of their lives)….it wouldn’t allow the interference of people like me, to take their power away…cause trying to change anybody means taking their power away….

And to add up to the above, the following question popped up in my head: “Are you doing perfectly all the things you want to see in others?”….what a shock ….I myself was not living at the standards I was promoting ….So was it also that I was seeing in others the reflection of my own struggles?...most probably.

What a realization …..what a new perspective on seeing others ….naturally resourceful and free to live the lives they choose to. All I need to do is loving them, thus accepting them just the way they are…PERFECT

Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com

What would you do if you would have the certainty of success?

Imagine for a moment that you would be given the certainty of success for any thing you want to do. What would that be?....maybe starting writing the book you always dreamed of writing , or creating that project you always had in mind…or maybe you would go auditioning for movies even if you have no acting preparation…..whatever it is you have in mind , imagine the possibility of doing it, knowing there is no way you could fail….would you go for it ?....of course you would cause what could stand in your way if even the fear of failure would be vanished?...

When you want to do something in your life, anything at all, you can never have the certainty of either failure or success. You cannot know what the outcome would be before you even started.

Now let’s explore, in a very logical way, the two possibilities:

First option: You give in to the fear of failure and decide to believe that whatever is that you want to accomplish would fail….would you still go for it? Most probably not…who would willingly transform his dream into a disaster?

Second option: You chose to believe your project will be successful and remove from your mind any possibility of failure ….would you go for it? Most probably yes..

So from the two possibilities which one would most probably take you to your desired end result? …obviously the second one.

I believe that anyone having a dream in life should go for it , work hard and keep at all times a positive attitude …not only the trip would be so enjoyable since you are doing something you love ….but even the destination might be a dream come true J, and if not (to be fair in considering the first option too) at least you would never have to live with the regret of ignoring your calling.

Ralu H

www.donnacafe.com

Allow It...

To which extent is the growth of a seed into a plant determined by you? To which extent is the blooming of trees in springtime controlled by you? The presence of this Universal Force, Energy, Source or God (name it as you may wish) cannot be denied or minimized to less than it actually is. It makes the Earth spin, and the rain fall, it transforms caterpillars into beautiful butterflies and night into day ; it does nothing, but nothing remains undone.

If we are able to accept that this All Creative force or energy does exist , why wouldn’t we include ourselves into it? If everything there is was created by it, so are we, and if everything there is transforms and survives out of it, than the logic would say that so should we. What is the difference between a seed transforming into a plant and an intention into reality?

I think the answer is “allowance”…allow things to happen by stop worrying, reducing the fear of failure and grow on the certainty that once the seed of your intention is planted and nurtured with love and faith, it is God’s job to handle the details of its development while you would stay focused on what you wish to accomplish. By being patient and trustful, we remain in a state of peace which is the only state of “allowance” for the divine intervention. Being impatient, worrying that something will come up to mess our plans, or losing faith when encountering the first obstacle , keeps us in a state of hostility and turmoil which couldn’t possibly be an environment where one would find God.

Few days back I found myself worried and full of doubts related to my project; it just seemed it doesn’t move towards the right direction and I couldn’t help feeling helpless with a sense of despair making nest in my mind. Days were passing by and I would be feeding on my negative assumptions while things with my project would be in an idle mode.

I brought up the subject with my coach and by starting exploring my situation I got to understand that the stage of my project was actually the stage I was in. How would it possibly progress while I was stuck? Why would it be a success when my belief was failure?

Realizing this was the first step needed for my detachment of the end result while allowing my project develop as a seed into a plant; just like the patience of allowing the transformation would be rewarded with the fruits of the plant, I know that by having the patience and the peace that comes with it, we would much faster enjoy the success of any project we might have.

Ralu H.

www.donnacafe.com